the house is always under construction
I. HTML is accessible by default. Making it less accessible should not be done without good reason.
The web 1.0 aesthetic is not an excuse for poor accessibility. At minimum, images should have alt text, and sites should be functional on mobile.
[Was looking at the old specs for the house again. Christ, how did this function? Like, for a game or something this isn't bad, but websites-as-tables should have stayed dead in the 90s. Thing is completely fucked. Needs a total rewrite. Me, I need another pot of fucking coffee and a cold shower just thinking about this mess.
[We should reiterate here during Ms. Bagenzo's protestations that the original house was made with a tool for creating games, which was not intended to create a public facing website. -- Ed.]
Of course, there's no such fucking thing as 100% accessible, and the best thing to do is to listen to actual users, not hyper-opinionated idiots. You do the best you can. Still, it feels like when it comes to the web-1.0-neocities-geocities-fuckosities contingent sensibility has gone down the toilet. I've seen people conflating React with semantic HTML for Christ sake. Building our own sites does not mean dumping all standards down the toilet.
I don't know, it would just piss me off less if the people who position themselves as experts (not naming any names) weren't designing sites that make screen readers freak the fuck out. I know, I know, "Those in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" but at least I'm some nobody and no one is looking at my house as inspiration. I get it- we're already breaking the rules with all these .gifs everywhere, but can't we at least make the best of it? Use prefers-reduced-motion or some shit! Okay, that's enough, my coffee is waiting for me.]
II. Websites should feel like uncovering a secret memento.
The greatest a site can aspire to is to make you feel like a child again, as if the outside world doesn't exist, and you've discovered something incredibly amusing and novel.
[It feels stupid to admit this sort of thing. Like, is this nostalgic urge even feasible? As much as people talk about 'doomscrolling' or whatever I feel like being constantly connected to news and other crap is just kind of unavoidable at this point, just part of how we live in this world. Yet... I'm starting to see things the other way, especially now that Twitter is going down the toilet and fools are trying to convince themselves they need to stick around "so the fascists don't win". Like maybe knowing what every single transphobe is up to or every single piece of shit going on in the U.S. (a country I don't even live in!) is not actually important. So maybe a site should just be something to check once in a while, to see if there's a new article up or blog post or whatever. And it should feel like you are *doing* something on there, not endlessly scrolling like on social media, but engaging with the shit you read.]
III. Websites should be authentic.
Facetiousness is reserved for when it's really, really funny or necessary. Part of detaching from the modern web is becoming a more humble and charitable person.
[I'm not saying being mean isn't appropriate sometimes (it is, sometimes pieces of shit need to be kept out of the house) but that holding onto this ironic, jokey persona that does "bits" kills a person. While I moved from Twitter to Mastodon, sometimes people would reply to my jokes and not understand them or take them too seriously. And there's this initial instinct that tells you to scream "Shut up!!", but I think that impulse is the wrong one. I think it's actually better to not be constantly jostling for the funniest possible quote dunk or joke. "Posting" is a fucking disease. A few social media sites have enabled this sort of ironic low key asshole template of behavior, and a thousand fools who think they are as funny as dril have downloaded it as their newest pathetic personality.]
IV. Websites should have secrets hiding inside them.
Even an unmaintained site can have more charm than one that updates frequently, if it is interesting enough.
[Another fucking day of reading this shit. It's inpenetrable. Stacks of HTML and nothing I can get out of them, absolutely fucking nothing. Losing myself.
I remember... many lost nights in front of the computer, looking shit up... Is that it? I like this shit because it reminds me of me? No, that's too cliche. Fuck it. Another pot of coffee and I'll sort out another few pages. I'm gonna sort out the house tonight.]
[If anyone has any information on Ms.Bagenzo's whereabouts, please contact us immediately, as she has been missing for some time. -- Ed.]